maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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