i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
