i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
