David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
