Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just want to make out with him forever
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We're too hungover to prance.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
