i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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