Midget sex pt 2 tonight
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
