my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
