Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You ruined the universe
Randomize
