It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
