Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think i have two assholes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I love you. Go after that dick
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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