Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
