I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
