im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
