he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
