Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
