You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
