Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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