so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
