Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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