When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
