wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is Oprah even human
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize