The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
