His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
