The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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