It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
too bad you live with your parents still
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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