He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
