shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
