The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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