are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
