can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
