you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
