Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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