i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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