I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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