actually, I'm a sock model
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
