Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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