u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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