Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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