I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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