Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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