My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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