Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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