farters have to be the big spoon...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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