oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
