So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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