I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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