if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize