Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
