Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
