just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
pray to the hookup gods
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize