I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
