We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
