I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
