Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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