SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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