So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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