I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
