So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
