David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
