I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
